teapotsubtext:

me as a journalist: HOLY SHIT Things Are Fuck

willow:

mood: 20 unread messages but still feeling lonely

timmystimbits:

Yah know, John’s secretly in love with the idea of his wife being in love with Timmy

thebestoftumbling:

me: i gotta focus on this beca-

brain: ladies and gentlemen,

me: please

brain: this is mambo no. 5

kingorb:

Anal eyes analyze anal lies

werewolfmali:

me at 15: why do my parents watch fuckin hgtv all day?

me at 25: damn the granite countertops really do make that kitchen pop

tubehuman:

this picture is older than the universe

i’m down to fuck

avpdsnail:

-ing isolate myself from everyone i love

cutegirlonline:

theycantalk:

dream big

i’m the worm

ghoullly:

“Hey, what are you drawing? Can I see i–”

pochowek:

heres a little.. controversy

firedrill:

me: *wants to live a minimalist life with little to no clutter*

also me: I’m keeping this math assignment from 5th grade I might need it later.